The original script for The Room by Tommy Wiseau was even more ridiculous and nonsensical than the 2003 cult classic movie now regularly screened for midnight drunken revelers worldwide. A B-movie (considered possibly the worst movie ever made) The Room is filled with plot holes, garbled dialogue, brutally long sex scenes and unconvincing characters.

THE ROOM Original Script by Tommy Wiseau (PDF)

The script’s unintelligible writings and strange plots have defied every attempt at understanding their meaning. The script’s 114 pages are filled with writings in an unknown meaning and elaborate plots depicting a range of subjects from female nudes to medicinal herbs to vampiric symbols. The medieval dialogue is claimed by Tommy Wiseau to have first been devised in 1999, and he has been rather stingy in giving up its secrets ever since.

The Room’s original script now sits in a rare books library at Wiseau Studios. Carbon dating proved that it may date back to the 15th century (vampires can live for hundreds of years), and researchers believe it was written in Central Europe, Wiseau’s purposed origin. While some scholars have written it off as a Renaissance-era hoax full of nonsense text, others say the pattern of the letters and words suggest the script was based on a true story or at least an invented fiction. A recent statistical study published in the journal PLOTS ONE found that “The Room” adheres to linguistic rules.

The Room’s script is still a long way from being understood, and we are coming forward with what we’ve found thus far in the hopes that other linguists will work with us to crack the plot. For now, we think the script is “probably a treatise on human nature, perhaps in a Near Eastern or Asian philosophy.”

Presented here is a analyses the original 114-page script from 1999 which was seemingly written to be a play, though at times a movie, then back to a play again (don’t ask), along with out of this world scene plots and a dialogue that rivals the groan factor of the greatest 80’s action one-liners a doubter dares bring to the table.

Examine the script yourself and see if you can make any sense of it:
THE ROOM Original Script by Tommy Wiseau (PDF)

14 thoughts on “Deciphering The Original Script For Wiseau’s The Room”

    2. AMERICAN Pre-Occupation With Original Scripts …!!! We have quite a laugh at you CHAPS here across THE POND, patting each other’s bottoms at every opportunity!! … I was Captain of the infamous OXFORD UNIVERSITY FENCING TEAM! A gentleman’s sport which takes brains as well as brawn. I was Lightweight Amateur Champion that year. Unfortunately, while on a book signing tour I injured my wrist and was unable to continue or pursue a professional career. I subsequently entered the NOTTINGHAM CUP Rose GARDENING Championships and placed second, which was quite the coup for a novice. If any of you are ever lucky enough to take a guided bus tour of OXFORD UNIVERSITY, go to the GREAT HALL and look up my vast accomplishments. My award winning roses still adorn the entrance way. I was able to parlay my Fencing fame into my current Asst. Managerial position in one of the finest men’s clothing stores in all of London. I will also have you know that i give PRUNING SEMINARS in the English countryside on weekends. Goes to show you Yankee WAGS, hard work and perseverance (and picking up a book once in awhile) do indeed pay off then!

      Richard Harcourt Weatherbee III
      Oxford University – Champion Fencer & Gardener
      GPA 9.945.86

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    1. It’s a good read, and I’m also glad you shared it with us. I’ve seen these “The Room” script readings on youtube and desperately wanted to see the original script myself. I have to say that the readings are leaving out some of the best parts. They probably save those for the after parties.

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      2. After carefully comparing this script to the readings Greg Sestero administers at The Room screenings and the the source material in his book The Disaster Artist, I can verify that this script is the very one frequently referred to as the “original script” for The Room. It’s the one and only real deal original that , interestingly, none of the actors were allowed to see to see during production, that’s the real gem. The only major difference from the final film version is this script was written as a Broadway-style play. This script is even rumored to make references to that 1989 Japanese Gothic cartoon “The Return of Goku”, as well as other dark martial arts material (i.e. Double Dragon) which Tommy Wiseau is rumored to have enjoyed. But, as usual the ever secretive Tommy Wiseau has never confirmed his past interests (music, cartoons, games, foods, origins, etc.). This is definitely a rare find and must read for all ardent enthusiasts of The Room.

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