The original script for The Room by Tommy Wiseau was even more ridiculous and nonsensical than the 2003 cult classic movie now regularly screened for midnight drunken revelers worldwide. A B-movie (considered possibly the worst movie ever made) The Room is filled with plot holes, garbled dialogue, brutally long sex scenes and unconvincing characters.
The script’s unintelligible writings and strange plots have defied every attempt at understanding their meaning. The script’s 114 pages are filled with writings in an unknown meaning and elaborate plots depicting a range of subjects from female nudes to medicinal herbs to vampiric symbols. The medieval dialogue is claimed by Tommy Wiseau to have first been devised in 1999, and he has been rather stingy in giving up its secrets ever since.
The Room’s original script now sits in a rare books library at Wiseau Studios. Carbon dating proved that it may date back to the 15th century (vampires can live for hundreds of years), and researchers believe it was written in Central Europe, Wiseau’s purposed origin. While some scholars have written it off as a Renaissance-era hoax full of nonsense text, others say the pattern of the letters and words suggest the script was based on a true story or at least an invented fiction. A recent statistical study published in the journal PLOTS ONE found that “The Room” adheres to linguistic rules.
The Room’s script is still a long way from being understood, and we are coming forward with what we’ve found thus far in the hopes that other linguists will work with us to crack the plot. For now, we think the script is “probably a treatise on human nature, perhaps in a Near Eastern or Asian philosophy.”
Presented here is a analyses the original 114-page script from 1999 which was seemingly written to be a play, though at times a movie, then back to a play again (don’t ask), along with out of this world scene plots and a dialogue that rivals the groan factor of the greatest 80’s action one-liners a doubter dares bring to the table.
Examine the script yourself and see if you can make any sense of it:
THE ROOM Original Script by Tommy Wiseau (PDF)